I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
