mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
