the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Randomize
