Well apparently he's into motor boating.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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