Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
this is an emotional support booty call
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
