strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
