You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
