i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
