It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
