Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
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