Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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