we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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