i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
