the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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