Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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