Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i just google imaged poop.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
