Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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