I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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