are you so shy because you have an std?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
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