im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
