Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Life without a bra equals bliss.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
