Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
