he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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