i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
