been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
the raccoons are back...
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