Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
