you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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