well I can't set my house on fire every night
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
