all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
