it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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