Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
