i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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