i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
