i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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