Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
