i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
