I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
