Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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