and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
