i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
