How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
