yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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