Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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