There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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