I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
