I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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