he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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