You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
