Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
