Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
