I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
