i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
