Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
