My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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