Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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