I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
